Planet 9


Chungling News Studio

David: Welcome to the Chungling News at the Yorba Linda studio, we are proud to present you amazing news about an unknown planet. It’s called –


Hannah: Planet 9 or Planet X or….. Super Earth!


David: Um, Yes, Planet 9 was suspected to be in its theoretical location by Konstantin Batygin, and Mike Brown of the California Institute of Technology.


Hannah: They announced it today! Let’s go talk to Josiah on Play Dough!


David: Hannah it’s called Pluto.


Planet Pluto:


Josiah: Thanks David, and Hannah. I’m on Pluto right now, and I am using my Japanese Subaru Telescope I got from Santa last year to “scope out” the new planet.


Hannah: Well what do you see?


Josiah: It’s looks really big and blue like Uranus, and Neptune. But it’s so dim I can barely see it. It must be made of gas, because . (Kzzzzch) And according to Batygin and Brown, it is 5 times the distance from where I am to the sun and is 10 times the size of the Earth. The surface seems to be (Kzzzzch) spinning with gas.


David: Thank you Josiah for that insight. Mr. Batygin and Mr. Brown were actually not the only ones to suspect a new planet. IN 2014, Trujillo and Scott Shepherd, of Carnegie Institute for Science, discovered a small object along with previously discovered objects. They called this discovery, 2012 VP113. Over to Josiah.


Hannah: Josiah, why do you keep saying “Kzzzzch”?


Josiah: I’m not (Kzzzzch)  saying anything.


David: What can you tell us about 2012 VP113 and the other things surrounding it?


Josiah: Well 2012 VP113’s argument of Perihelion is-


Hannah: Argument of Pendulum…. Parallelogram…. errr… Pelican …Oh! Perihelion!


Josiah: Yes, Its Argument of Perihelion is the relationship between the time a heavenly body its closest approach to the sun (Kzzzzch) and the time it passes through the plane of the solar system. (Kzzzzch). So, interestingly, all the bodies (Kzzzzch) Trujillo and Shepherd found, had very similar arguments of Perihelion-


David: hinting that they are being pulled by an unseen gravitational pull of an unseen world!


Josiah: Hey! I was going to say that!


David: Well too bad. When Batygin & Brown examined Trujillo and Shepherd’s data they came to a theory that the Kuiper Belt of icy objects beyond Pluto formed its bodies into a clump just like in the supposed “Big Bang Theory”. But, the Kuiper Belt lacks the mass to do just that. So the scientist looked into the crazy factor of the unknown planet. Their data lead to that-


Josiah: The new planet’s gravitational pull (Kzzzzch) would lead to a field of independent objects that are not aligned and their orbit in up to 90 degrees different from the plane of our own solar system! So they are all very puzzled and all the data leads to that the Super Earth is- Omg!- my tank is low! (Kzzzzch) I got to get back to the ship! (Kzzzzch) I only have a few (Kzzzzch) breaths left! The (Kzzzzch) radio is (Kzzzzch) breaking (Kzzzzch) out! Help (Kzzzzch) Help! (KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZCHHHHHH)


David: Hey this is just like that movie, Martian, right?  


Hannah: Should we try to save him?!


David: Nah. He’s so screwed.


Hannah: Sooooo…. Josiah said all the evidence says that the Super Earth is…..


David: Probably real. Yeah!


Hannah: Ok! See you guys next time! Be on the look for some Super Earths! This is David and Hannah…. and maybe Josiah, signing off.